Make New Friends But Keep the Old

Yes! There was a new student in my Sanitation class yesterday and I am ecstatic! Not only is he a card carrying adult, he is a senior citizen. If he doesn't have AARP, Medicare, and at least a 6 in front of his age than my mother is Julia Child. I am now officially NOT the oldest person in that class by a mile and I love Old Guy for it. He sat in front of me and I tried my best to smile as hard as possible at the back of his head so he would turn around, and then we could forge the bond and be adult going back to school buddies. Since that didn't work out as planned, I excitedly jumped forward to answer his question about our online learning process, only to be beat out by an Emo kid with barely understandable English skills sitting next to my new BFF. Apparently you need to be much quicker on the draw in Community College. Walking around campus, I find myself smiling like a scary circus clown at anyone that looks like they have at least a 4 in front of their age. It's like we belong to the same club, but unfortunately none of the adult learner possible BFF's that I have crossed paths with seem the least bit interested in joining. Maybe it's the creepy smile.

So far the only student that has tried to come into my circle is I Will Say Inappropriate Unrelated Things and Speak While The Instructor Is Speaking Girl. She sits behind me in Sanitation and seems to want to tell me things I am not interested in knowing. I am transported back to high school as I smile, in a not scary clown way but a "why are you talking to me you are obviously a bit crazy and odd but I want to appear polite so I am smiling" way. Last week I thought it might be a fluke and she was just nervous about being in a new setting, but this week she was at it again and I found myself reduced to one word not so enthusiastic answers once the dialog began. What was I going to say to her when she spied my Starbucks in my hand and informed me, unprovoked, as I sat down in class that the only hot drink she likes is hot chocolate? She then proceeded to talk to me about "the river", her father and his transfer from "the river" firehouse to a house in Las Vegas, how she had been a Pastry student at Cordon Bleu but that didn't work out (oh God, really - I'm afraid to ask), the Charter high school she went to, and her brother, who is 17 and looks like HE is the 20 year old, attends now. I don't know her name but I know her entire family and their history dating back to the 1800's. She continued to talk to me, okay, well, she was talking, looking at me, but clearly she didn't want or need responses, she just wanted her prey to listen, as the instructor began the class. At that point I turned around, I am not jeopardizing my A for anyone sister! I then spent the next hour of class completely consumed with guilt for acting like a person about 25 years younger than my actual age and not someone who has kids her age. So, during our first break, I decided I would purposely turn back around to her and almost make eye contact which would in turn get her to start up again (it worked!) and THIS time I could be my nice and pleasant self and squash my guilt. Once class ended I stalled a few minutes pretending to put stuff in my book bag as I Will Say Inappropriate Unrelated Things and Speak While The Instructor Is Speaking Girl vanished into the culinary halls like vapor looking for her next victim.

Then I went home, took my first exam for this class exactly the moment my instructor made it available online, scored 106 out of 112, and began plotting how to weasel myself into Old Guys row at school next week.