The Way It Is

Is there an age limit when it comes to liking a Miley Cyrus song? Hey, she's a cute, talented girl, but I never saw the need to add her to my list of preferred artists. That said, I can recognize talent when I hear it, and I like that Party in the USA song, it has great lyrics and it has a great beat. The first time I heard it was when everyone was going crazy over her singing it while doing stripper moves on a stripper pole at an awards show, as was being discussed by my favorite local morning deejays. I hadn't watched the show, and I admit I was beyond curious so I looked up the video of the performance which was posted on the radio show website. Truly people, she was on top of an ICE CREAM CART holding on to the UMBRELLA POLE. Yea, so, the umbrella was nowhere to be found, but I hardly think this constitutes stripper moves and said pole. The last time you visited Scores were they even serving ice cream? I didn't think so.

I have another confession to make, school is boring, adding to my list of not so popular or maybe they are but you are not stupid enough to actually voice them out loud opinions, which now include I think The Secret is stupid, I love TV especially reality TV, I hated the movie and stage versions of Mamma Mia, I like Miley and I also hated the movie Moulin Rouge with Nicole Kidman. I wish school were more exciting, giving me a plethora of material to store up and write about, as I thought it would, but it's not. If it were, I wouldn't have to open my blog post which is supposed to be about my journey through academia, with Miley Cyrus accolades. I think school may get more interesting next semester once I actually start hands on baking classes, but hey, who knows, maybe that will be a snooze fest too. I'm five weeks in and I am not having fun at this point. I'm doing what is necessary, and there is no f-u- or n anywhere to be found, except in my own head, which of course has nothing to do with the actual learning process. I thought my classes would truly and sincerely be riveting. Shows you what I know. Maybe this is why I had such a difficult time embracing higher learning when I was younger.

In order to keep myself awake during class, I've resorted to spending about 97% of my time in class not actually being present in it, but instead thinking to myself about my fellow students and school in general. Now, I still have my sights set on nothing less than "A's" in my classes and you would think that getting one would actually require you to pay attention while in attendance, but not in the case of the classes I am taking now. In Hospitality, we have 7 tests and a final. The week we are being lectured to during class on chapters 7 & 8, we take our quiz on chapters 3 & 4. Now I don't know about anyone else, but my brain cannot function like that. It needs order. If we are being lectured on chapters, it expects to test on those chapters the next week at the beginning of class, so it can store that info away and move on. It cannot continue to learn new concepts 4 chapters ahead and then recall old ones for a quiz on chapters we discussed 3 weeks ago. No, that is not how my brain rolls.

In Sanitation, all my homework was done online and submitted, my 2 quizzes and final are done online and submitted, all I really have to submit during class is my certification exam on the last day, in 3 weeks. All the notes and lecture slides are online. These classroom conditions thus give me plenty of time to not really pay full attention and instead make my steely and/or possibly entirely inaccurate observations of the students around me. Here are a few things I have made mental note of:

• The first day of school was a red carpet event, girls wore full makeup applied by professional makeup artist Gucci Westman, nails were manicured, hair coiffed, outfits were worn with heels.

• By week 5 girls come to school wearing no makeup or if you are me tinted moisturizer, a UNLV hoodie, jeans, flip flops and chipped polish.

• Boys don't really care what they look like whether it is day 1 or day 30.

• Chatty Cathy was only chatty one day, not sure why, but thankful for it and praying it continues this way.

• There is a large group of kids in my Wednesday class that all seem to be friends, and they speak little discernible English, throwing blank stares at the Instructor when he asks us questions during lecture expecting a response from someone other than myself, Old Guy, or IWSIUTASWTIISG. His utterances of "anybody, anybody"? remind me of Ben Stein in Forest Bueller and are, frankly, just plain awkward.

• These same kids all have these little zip pouches that they put on the desk in front of themselves during class, and I am dying to know what is in them. I think pens and pencils or sunglasses. The girls pouches have Hello Kitty or Mini Mouse, the boys pouches are silk solids or brightly colored silk stripes.

• Old Guy is 70 years of age, he lives across the street from the SW campus and on Tuesdays and Thursdays he goes there to take ceramics. He is auditing this class so he doesn't mind that he got an 80 on the last quiz. He favors Billabong shorts and wears them with golf shirts.
  

• The sweet girl that always sits next to me Wednesdays has such a thick accent that every time she turns to me and opens her mouth I break out in a sweat and my scary clown smile as the world stands still while I concentrate and listen so I can verify and repeat, or try to, everything she asks me and then I have no answer, giving her a back and forth head shake, shoulder shrug and "I don't know" each and every time. Yet, she continues to have faith in me, as she obviously thinks I am much smarter than I actually am and that is probably only due to the fact that English is my native language.

• There is a kid in class that has sign language assistance. There are 2 signers that attend class with him, and I haven't asked yet, but am wondering why he needs 2. They periodically switch places and take turns signing to him. Is there a rule that only allows them to sign a certain amount of time before they get a break? They are really good actresses, they don't just sit there and blankly sign, as one might expect. They throw everything into it and use facial expression and animated gestures. They are highly entertaining and a delightful distraction.

So, now I'm going to ask all 12 (it's growing!) of my readers and my Facebook friend non-readers to do me a favor. I have a personal goal that my Facebook group for License to Bake, which is currently at 56 or 57 members depending on how Facebook feels about me on any given day, gets up to 500 members before 2011. This, as you can see, is quite a daunting task. Please, please (annoying begging face inserted here) ask all your friends whether you really are friends with them or not, on FB or otherwise, to join my group so I can hit my goal. K? Much appreciated...