Follow Your Dreams

Well, the big day is almost here. I start school tomorrow! We will see what the day brings and I will write all about it when I get home.

You know, the other night I invited my sister, niece and nephew for dinner, because it was a rare night that both my kids were home so all of us could be together. See what happens when they grow up, you have to schedule dinners with them even when they still live with you! So I planned and made an entire meal all myself from salad to dessert. It was all edible! There were no leftovers so I know when everyone said it was good, it WAS good! I made a hearts of romaine salad with homemade mustard vinaigrette, pork tenderloin, roasted potatoes, and a peanut butter cake with chocolate peanut butter ganache. I rarely, actually, I think I can accurately say never, cook an entire dinner myself. Usually even if I plan to after a short time I lose patience and/or ability to execute and I end up asking my husband for help. I don't take ADD meds but I guess something made me focus that night. My husband was surprised, I could tell, that I didn't ask for a rescue. He actually enjoys cooking, and he likes being able to make dinner for family. Anyway, I am rambling, I'm tired, one of the dogs woke us up at about 4:30 this morning. So the point, I thought of the pork tenderloin recipe myself, I marinated it in lime for one hour then rolled it in barbecue sauce and pork rub and baked it. I took white creamer potatoes and cut them in chunks, tossed them in olive oil and salt, pepper, shallots, onion, garlic and a 12 spice seasoning from Trader's. The cake was amazing! Pic is above.

My nephew then asked me and my sister if we would bake for his office. My sister was to make cookies, her specialty, and I would make muffins or mini cakes, my perceived specialty! We decided we would do it this morning and my nephew could take the baked goods to work with him tomorrow. My sis woke up not feeling well, so I was on my own in my kitchen and started baking about 10AM. By the time I was done I was almost in tears, my kitchen looked like a tornado had come through it, and out of 44 mini cakes I baked I had 16 that I liked enough to give to him to take to work. 8 peanut butter cup with chocolate peanut butter ganache (pictured here above the cake I made for the family dinner) and 8 cookies and cream with dark chocolate cookie ganache (not pictured here as I don't like the way they look at all and I have not grown THAT much to show you but give me time.) Sometimes things don't work out the way I planned, and I need to figure out a way to deal with that which doesn't include crankiness and annoyance.

So, this all got me to thinking about people that expect excellence and how they are perceived. I think I can count myself in that category. One of my sons is becoming a tattoo artist, his apprenticeship is done soon. He tattoos now, but is not licensed quite yet. He is an AMAZING artist! I've mentioned it before I believe. He's been drawing since he was 3. He wants to be the best at what he does. He is really hard on himself, a perfectionist. Wonder where that comes from? I have learned from him what tattoos are supposed to be like. I never appreciated them that much. Now I do. This morning I was in line at Starbucks behind a guy with a really large tattoo on his arm, critiquing it in my mind. I wondered if the lines were supposed to be that heavy. They were straight, but thick. I had to stop myself from asking him if the artist meant them to be that way. Tattoo lines should be thin, and constant, and straight in most instances, of course, depending on the design. If a line is thick, it may mean the artist had unintentional hatch marks, and had to go over it to straighten it or get it to be consistent. I have become a fan of the show L.A. Ink, and Kat Von D is, in my opinion, a crazy perfectionist control freak. I mean this in a kind of good way, stay with me. She REALLY cares about what she does. And, I can relate. She is looked at as kind of a bitch, I think, and I can relate. But really, she wants to do a great job and it matters to her that she does accomplish that. Maybe there is a more PC way to get there, but , she is who she is and I have a respect for her integrity.

I was involved in a small business as a co-owner, and it had nothing to do with baking! I was a lot like Kat. I learned a lot of lessons from it, namely, I can care and want nothing less than the best, however, I can also soften up my approach and my expectations, or at least communicate them differently as most people are not as intense about it as I am. Then again, I am who I am. So today, when things didn't go exactly the way I wanted them to in the kitchen with my baking, I got a bit bent out of shape. I didn't want anything but perfect cakes going out there. Now mind you, I am a beginner. They tasted good, but they did not look as I wanted them to. You can be the judge, look at the pics.

Point is, I am going to follow my dream to bake. My baking may not turn out perfectly every time. I can adjust a recipe, and that is actually half the fun, figuring it out. I have already learned I love to bake from scratch, and tweak recipes. Doing it for others and having them eat and enjoy is satisfying, and it makes people happy. And I pledge, I will strive to be the best but if I'm not I will be okay with that, too. Well, maybe.