Holy Matrimony

I start school a week from tomorrow and you know what? I am nervous. Really nervous, I'm excited, too, but mostly nervous, which is not typical for me. Not that I've ever been in this exact set of circumstances before, but, I'm surprised nonetheless. I am having second, third and fourth thoughts. I will go to school, I have no doubts, but, all these thoughts are churning around in my head like fresh butter. Will I be the oldest person on campus? What makes me think I can compete with people that have been baking for a living for years?

So, I went right to the voice of reason this morning, my husband. Because (close your eyes and plug your ears hon) in times like these he is almost always the "r" word, or, for those of you not in a relationship, right. He quickly pointed out that even if I start baking professionally at 50, which is pretty likely how old I'll be once I finish school, and I do it for 20 years, and I am doing what I love, what is wrong with that? Well, nothing. But then why am I still more nervous to go to school than I was when I got married?

I realize the prevailing theme right now is more of the "what the hell am I doing?" variety, so, I'm going to list out my reasons why going to school for a Pastry Arts degree is a fabulous idea:

1. I will be a better student now than I was upper 20 something years ago, I want all A's. I'm now extremely competitive and actually really, really care that I do well. When I was in school before if I was more interested in not repeating the same outfit twice than in actually being a good student and getting good grades. You know what they say about wasted youth, well, poster child right here.

2. Since I HAVEN'T been in the kitchen at my mother's apron strings since I was little, I am a fresh slate and have no preconceived notions or ideals that my way is better...so, my professors will love shaping clay-like mold-able me!

3. I get to buy new shoes as I don't currently own even one pair of black stay-puff marshmallow orthopedic non-slips as part of my shoe collection at the moment.

4. I won't spend needless time in the morning having to do my hair, it will be under one of those floppy bakers caps.

5. Let's not even talk about not needing to come up with what to wear. The dreaded uniform of a chef - although in my book this may not be a plus I guess it is in 99.9% of most people's life, so I'm going to count it as one as well.

Okay, I feel better now. Off to Target for school supplies!